I think that is why Ruth does not tell James much about her past because she wants to believe it is not who she is. When Ruth started a new life, her past slowly disappeared. She also explained that her faith in Judaism curtailed when her mother died, meaning her mother was a symbol of her "former" identity before she fell in love and had children. She felt she needed to forget her sins and to reconnect with God in order to let her mother go. The loss of Ruth's mother also caused Ruth to change her faith and beliefs. I think the reason why she is so strong with her children is because she does not want to experience the awful feelings she once felt, also because her children would take advantage of her if she was an emotional wreck. By reading this page Ruth's character surprised me. I would of assumed she would feel hurt but I did not know her loss would result in depression and great weight loss. Ruth had a better relationship with her mother than any other elders in her life. I believe this is a moment where she showed her weakness. Lord, I was burning with hurt." Ruth relieves plenty of emotions that is not normally expressed when she is with her children. On page 217, " Why couldn't it have been me that died? I would go on long walks and would forget where I was.She was gone. The way it was written allowed me to imagine how Ruth must have felt during that time. The moment when Ruth loses her mother in "The Color of Water" was very emotional and almost brought me to tears.
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